I'm not fat.

I'm not fat. It has taken me 10 years to say that and mean it. Ten years!  I could always use exercise, tone up my body a bit, but I'm not fat. Even when a little over a year ago, when physically I was in the best shape I had ever been in my life, I still thought I was fat. I am not sure why now, this month, this year, this day, I can honestly say to myself, and believe it, that I am not fat.
I have struggled with weight issues since the 8th grade. I was never fat then, but I truly, whole heartedly thought I was. If I couldn't see each one of my ribs, I was fat. When I got to college, if I wasn't less than 100 pounds, I was fat. I remember hitting 99 and be so damn proud of myself. I am not sure if I was a true anorexic. I ate. Some days more than others. I called myself a 'borderline anorexic'. I'm not sure if this is an actual term meaning something completely different, but I thought since I ate, I wasn't an anorexic, therefore, just on the border of becoming one. I think the lowest I ever got was 97 pounds. Funny thing is, no one really knew, and I'm not sure if anyone really noticed either (at no fault of their own). I hid it well.

I have also suffered from depression since 8th grade as well, but that's a whole other blog all in itself, and I'm not quite ready to let all the out.
Point is, I'm not fat. I am 5'5 (and three fourths) in height and 133 lbs. If I lose some weight, great, if I gain a little, okay. I will never be a size 2 again, I have hips damnit, and that's okay too.  I'm not fat.

I want to suck your blood!

I realized the my blood type is rare, if not the rarest blood type out there.  AB neg.  Kinda cool.  I made a comment to my husband that I need to go donate blood, and he said, no way, it's rare, you need what you got!  Okay, it made me laugh, but I guess you had to have been there.  Anyway, I have never given blood.  The one time I tried to, I was underweight (ahh, high school).  I know I meet the weight requirement now, and I'm pretty sure I meet all the other requirements as well.  So, why don't I just go give blood?  Well, to be honest I'm not sure where to go.   Also, I'm not scared of needles, but I am scared that I might have some freakish reaction and passout.  Ugh.  So don't want to do that.  Hopefully, within the years I am here on this planet I will muster up the courage to go give blood.  I'm sure someone out there could use it.

Santa Letters

My kiddos each wrote a letter to Santa. Well, Thing 2 had a bit of help from me, but she did manage to write most of her name :) I mailed them to the North Pole Canada. I had to explain to my son that since the real North Pole is so far away their letters may take months to get there. So, I continued, Santa set up a North Pole in Canada run by Santa's most trusted elves, a Special Operations team of sort. That way, the letters would only take about a week to get there, and Santa would definitely get word of what you want for Christmas. Luckily, my son was satisfied with this answer.


When I went to mail their letters, the postal worker asked me why I just don't email Santa. Seriously? Email? Hell, why email, I'll just tweet the jolly dude. I guess I am just old fashioned because I think that the whole part of writing a letter to Santa is using actual paper and pen, sealing the envelope, and hoping it reaches the North Pole in time. I loved watching my kids carefully pen each word, especially my son, who made sure each letter was perfect, each word spelled correctly, and a polite thank you added to the bottom of the page. My daughter loved telling me what to add to her list and made sure I was writing it all down, with nod and smile of satisfaction on her face. I can't see how typing an email to Santa would be fun. It is so impersonal. I don't think seeing the glow of the computer screen reflecting off their faces, pecking at each letter, using spell check, and hitting send, has that Christmassy spirit to it.  So, no emailing Santa for this family.

By the way, anyone know where to get a 'real giraffe' and an elf?

I thought...

...that I would be better at this whole blogging business.  I'm not.  Matter of fact, I suck at blogging.  I guess I don't see my life being too exciting, so I feel there is nothing worth really blogging about.  Let's see, business is good, visitors were welcomed, and family is great.  Yep, my life in a nutshell.

Hi, my name is...

What a Facebook Addiction Meeting would be like:

me:  Hi, my name is Susan.
group:  Hi Susan.
me:  I used to be a myspace user.  I would change my background, update my music, leave comments, but I wanted more.  Then I heard about facebook. 
group:  ohhhh
me:  All my friends had an account, and I thought, why not give it a try.  At first, I wasn't impressed.  I didn't like not being able to personalize my page.  But then, I discovered games and the ability to 'poke' people.  I developed a feeling that I was interactioning with friends I haven't seen in years.  I was now joining their mafia, lending a hand on their farm, and pledging in their sorority. 
group:  Mmmhhmm...
me:  Now, I have to have my facebook. I have to update my status.  I have to let my friends know that I went to the gym, came home, ate dinner, and then went to sleep.  I have to help my mafia fight, fertilize my fellow farmers' crops, and organize an event to impress my sorority.
group:  We know, girl, we know. (all nodding their heads in agreement)
me:  So, that is why I am here tonight.  I have a facebook addiction.  I need help.
group:  (still nodding in agreement)

Run Run Run

As of today, I am officially running again.  I hope to run in (at least) a 5k race no later than December of this year.  It is so hard to get back into running!  The last time I did any major running was in May for the Mudrun.
So, I checked out Runners World online and printed out a training guide for my goal.  Today was an easy run.  I was supposed to run two miles at a 13:27 pace.  Well, I ran my easy run at a 12:00 pace.  Yes, I am saying it took me 12mins. to run a mile, but damnit I ran that mile non stop!  The second mile involved short sprints and walking.  I spent a total of 45 mins. on the treadmill today, and if you don't know, I HATE TREADMILLS!  So this is quite the accomplishment.  Tomorrow is my cross training day, so weight training here I come.  Anyway, I am sore, but I LOVE IT!  Exercise really does get me out of my dumpy moods.
Happy Running All!

*I want to say a big THANK YOU to my cousin Amy for inspiring to get off my fat ass and pick up running again*

Challenge continues...

I am attempting to take up running again--thank you Amy.  It is so difficult to start all over again.  I wasn't fast by any means, but damnit I could do an 8K no problem.  Now I can barely make it a quarter of a mile without feeling I am going to pass out.  Everyone has to start somewhere, so, a quick run to the corner of the street and back doesn't look so bad.